Rating: PG-13, language and violence
Pairings: Duo/Heero, implied Trowa/Quatre
Written: 2001
Two planes and a layover later, Duo decided he couldn't do it. It was impossible. No respectable guy should be forced to go through with this. It was one thing to hear the mission specs about having to act gay. It was a totally different thing to have another guy's hand on you.
Duo suspected that if he had been paired with anyone else for the mission, things would have been different. They could have pretended and muddled their way through. No touching. No groping under plane blankets. No kissing. A little hugging and that would be it. Sure it would have been a little less convincing, but it would have gotten the job done. But nooo. I get to be stuck with anything-for-the-mission-Yuy who wants to make sure our act is perfect.
More than once Duo had had to restrain himself from letting Heero know about his opinion with a well placed fist to the face.
What I need is to talk with someone who understands. I can't talk to Heero about these feelings. He'll just go on about the mission. I swear he's as bad as Wufei is about Justice. Duo sat down at a pay phone, over night bag at his feet. People walked on through the airport, oblivious to the struggle going on in the braided boy's mind.
I need someone who understands. Someone who cares about my feelings. Someone who can let me know that it's going to be all right. Who can tell me how to act, what to expect, and what the most difficult parts are going to be. I need to talk with someone who is gay, and isn't afraid to act it.
I need to call Quatre.
Normally he carried his phone card in his pockets but the gray slacks that Heero had provided lacked pockets. So instead, Duo had to dig through the pocket of his carry-on. Pens, coins, paper clips, unidentifiable metal buts, and plastic bottle caps that he'd yet to redeem for free drinks all slid against his sensitive finger tips. A little more digging produced a thin plastic phone card. It's black surface was broken by a grinning image of cowled Death, scythe gripped in both hands. A small fuzzy kitten sat contentedly at his feet. (1)
The braided pilot barely gave the phone card a second glance as he picked up the phone, punched in the appropriate codes, and dialed Quatre's mansion. He heard the appropriate beeps and whirs that let him know it was being transferred across country lines. Then it began to ring. On the third ring it was picked up.
"Hello, Winner residence." Duo heard the voice and almost apologized for dialing the wrong number. Then the words registered.
"Trowa?"
"Duo?"
Duo sighed. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. Just about every time I call over there, you're there Trowa. When did you become Quatre's personal secretary? "Hey Trowa, can I speak to Quatre?"
"Hm. I'll get him." Duo listened to the soft clatter of Trowa set the phone down. Then he waited. And waited. And waited. Long seconds that stretched by counted off one by one by the clock hanging over the phones and punctuated by the drone of conversations, a female voice asking if Mr. Scott McNeil (2) could please pick up the courtesy phone, the low rumble of jets. Duo fidgeted as the silence stretched out over the phone.
Where is Quatre? On the other side of the mansion? My poor phone card is going to run out before he even gets here. A young girl, maybe four or five, came up to the phone booth staring at Duo with big blue eyes. Her hair was in blonde ringlets, her drees frilly and pink. He hated being stared at. Finally, the braided pilot covered the mouth piece and turned towards the child.
"What?"
"Are you a girl?" Duo closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. I'm going to kill Heero for getting me this outfit.
"No. I'm a boy."
"You have a braid," she calmly pointed out, using one finger to point to the hair that hung neatly down Duo's back.
"Guys can have braids too."
"You're not dressed like a girl."
"That's because I'm a guy."
"Are you sure?"
"Want me to drop my pants and prove it?" Duo asked in a too sweet voice. The little girl's eyes widened to their fullest extent. A harried woman raced over to where the girl stood and scooped the child into her arms. She turned towards the Gundam pilot and gave him a venomous glare.
"Keep away from my daughter pervert," the woman screamed at Duo. Heads turned towards him, the curious taking in the scene. Duo flipped the woman off and would have responded verbally, but Quatre chose that moment to come on the line.
"Hello?" There was a pause and Quatre could here someone yelling in the background, but no one seemed to be on the line. "Is anyone there?"
"Yeah, hi Quatre," Duo said as he brought the phone back up to his ear. "Can you hold on a second?" Then slightly fainter and obviously directed at someone else "Same to you bitch. And teach that brat of yours some manners while you're at it." Then back to Quatre "So how's it going?"
"Duo. I wasn't expecting to hear from you any time soon. I contacted Wufei yesterday. He said that Heero and you were on a joint missions." Wuatre didn't say it, but Duo heard the questions anyway. Heero wouldn't let anything compromise the mission If he knew that you planned on contacting me, he would have stopped it. Is something wrong?
"Yeah, well this is kind of important. Did Wufei say anything about what the mission was about?" asked Duo, trying to keep his voice as even as possible. Because if you did Wufei… I swear I will hunt you down and shoot you in the back.
"No, he wouldn't say much. Just stuttered a lot when I asked. It the mission going okay?" Quatre asked. Duo sighed.
"Kind of. I have this problem and I need your help. Do you mind?"
"No, of course not. What's the problem?" Good old Quatre. I knew I could count on you.
"First off, let me give you some background on the mission.. We have to go after a scientists, big R&D guy who specializes in stuff that could eventually lead to a cannon powerful enough and mobile enough to shoot through even our Gundams. We need to find out how close the research he's doing is to completion. Which means we need to get real chummy with this scientist guy. Only OZ knows something's up so they're watching this guy like a hawk. They don't have our physical descriptions on file, but they've done some personality analysis. The professor's are worried that they might have actually done something right this time. Which is why Heero and I have to act like a gay couple."
Duo waited for a response from Quatre. And waited. And waited... "And?" Quatre finally asked. His tone of voice stated more clearly than words that he didn't see where Duo was going with this.
"And I figured that since you were gay and all that you could give me a few pointers, you know? Like how to act and what to expect and… stuff," Duo said. Why is he making me explain the obvious?
A pause. "Duo, I'm not gay."
"Sure you are."
"No, I'm not."
"But... but... you wear pink. And... and... you sound girly. You're the only boy in a family full of girls. And… and… you wear pink," Duo said. It felt like his entire basis for reality had tilted to one side and was slowly slipping away. His world had become the Titanic.
"Why does everyone think I'm gay? Because I wear pink? Pink is a perfectly manly color. Lots of guys wear pink. (3) I do not sound girly. And I'll have you know that my sisters would never do anything to turn me gay, supposing that they could. Since my father's death I am the head of the Winner household, and they know it. I'm tired of everyone just assuming they know about my sex life without even asking. I mean, when I first saw you I thought you were a girl, but I didn't automatically assume you were gay. People asked me about your sex life but did I assume I knew enough to form an opinion? No. I didn't assume anything. I told them that if they wanted to know they would have to ask you directly. And why does the fact that I wear pink make me gay? I'll have you know my great-grandfather wore…" Quatre's voice faded away as someone took the phone from him. There was a brief struggle, and one last "Pink is a perfectly manly color" before someone else got on the phone.
Duo was still trying to come to terms with the fact that Quarte had a sex life when the person on the other end called his name. His mind was dealing with the more important detail that someone had questioned his straightness when his named was called a second time. Therefore, Trowa had to call Duo's name a third time before he got the braided pilot's attention.
"Duo?"
"Huh... what?"
"Duo, what did you say to him?"
"I... I thought he was gay," Duo responded in a plaintive voice. There was a lengthy pause on the other end before Trowa replied.
"Not yet."
The dial tone was startlingly loud in Duo's ear as he stared at the receiver. He gingerly replaced the phone on the hook, his face still white from shock. Over head the attendant announced that Mrs. Generic's child was waiting for her at Gate Seven. Duo replaced the phone card he'd unknowingly been fiddling with back in his bag, and went to find Heero.
He really, really did not want to know.
"What did Duo say? Why did you say 'not yet'?" Quatre asked as soon as Trowa hung up the phone.
"He asked if you were mad enough to kill him. I told him not yet," Trowa replied without even a pause. "I guess he knew that he had pushed you too far."
"Oh. I hope he knows I wasn't really that mad. I'm just tired of people assuming to much about me." The blonde Arabian sighed, giving the impression that he was the most put upon person on earth. Trowa could certainly sympathize.
"I know, Quatre. So are we still on for orange smoothies this afternoon?"
"Sure. I'll go get my coat."
It's a date then. Trowa thought as he watched Quarte go up the stairs.
(1) Come on. It's a fic about a guy who calls himself Shinigami. Terry Pratchett's Death, HE WHO SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS, had to show up eventually
(2) Yes, this is the name of Duo's English voice actor. You get a cookie if you knew this without having to look at the foot notes.
(3)Yeah, like Tasuki. And we all know he's so not gay. Especially after having lived alone on a mountain top with nothing but male bandits during those oh-so-crucial formative years. Of course not...